On Mother's Day last year, hand written note in hand, we shared the news with our immediate family that were were pregnant. It was much too early to tell anyone, but our excitement and nerves got the best of us. Plus as everyone drank mimosas at brunch, I opted for a sprite. ;)
Oh what a difference one year makes.
This year, I sit in awe of the perfect little girl God has blessed me with. I don't mean to brag (as I brag), but y'all - I can't get over Charlie Jo. She is the snuggliest, sweetest, chillest, coolest and all around greatest four month old on the block. I am so lucky to be her mama.
Embracing change, even when my natural tendency is to resist
Most of my immediate family and friends know that I don't love change. Switching to the iPhone X was a big. deal. yo. So imagine what I'm in for with a daughter. Things are changing every single day and either I go with them or get left way behind.
Just when I think I know the perfect rocking position that'll get Charlie Jo to sleep, it changes.
Just when I think I know her favorite finger to suck, it changes (sister doesn't discriminate on what finger does the trick).
Just when I think I couldn't possibly love her any more....yep, change.
Change is good and I am trying my best to embrace and enjoy the myriad of things that are changing around me.
Trying to find a balance
I know this is something I will have to work at my entire life. Even before Charlie Jo, I found it hard to balance work and life. When you work for yourself there is never a "closing time." Sure our storefront is closed, but honestly, that is when most of the work gets done. Add in a wiggly nugget and I find myself getting more done between the hours of 4 a.m. and 7 a.m.
It is important to me to be present when I'm with CJ. It is so easy to be distracted. I really do pray about it often and hope that I can continue to work hard to be there and be present when I am with her.
I will not be run by guilt
Why do all moms feel guilty all the time? We feel guilty when we work too much. We feel guilty when we don't. We feel guilty when we don't make our own baby food. We feel guilty when we leave our babies for one night.
Guilt is real. Anxiety is real. And I've felt all of these things in the four months I've had with Charlie Jo.
I can't let these feelings control me. My sister said it well and continues to inspire me by the way she mothers. Her philosophy is - just don't let yourself go there. Don't feel guilty. Get your nails done. It. is. ok. You just can't let guilt control you. It steals your happiness.
At the end of the day, it's ok to buy the baby food. Feeding it to your baby at a park on a sunny day is what they will remember. Not where the food came from.
Hug your mamas
Happiest Mother's Day to mamas WAY more experienced than me. We're all on this journey together. So, let's all do what we can to lift each other up.
What I'm wearing
PS - because I love being a Godmother to this smart, kind, beautiful little girl....